ACCOUNTABLE What is a Man? An alphabetical list of attributes to which every man should attain.

 What is a man?  

An alphabetical list of attributes to which every man should attain.

A

Accountable

A man does little in isolation.  Certainly, we like to be alone after talking with people all day, but isolation does not mean secrets.  We have nothing in our lives that we cannot share with our wives or another man.  (See Integrity).  We recognize the dangers of aloneness, so we gather other men around us.  We regularly confess our downfalls to a couple of men we trust.  

We are accountable because others are watching us.  If we are fathers, we are the primary example for our children of what a man is.  Someone once told me that if I did not show love and affection to my daughter she would seek it out from others…I can feel my temperature rising even as I think about the prospects.

The accountable man lives in freedom because he has surrendered his inner life to the safety of other men.  The secretive man never knows when his secrets will be found out.  Thus living a life of bondage.  He is also free to grow in healthy and robust ways.  Lack of accountability can only lead to a stunted man.  Secrets, like pornography, drugs, illicit relationships and unhealthy viewing habits produce a weak, out-of-control, unattractive, immature….man.

Women do better at this because they love relationships.  They love to get together and talk.  Men like to do stuff together and then the talk can come naturally.  I have seen men in the world of unemployment struggle with the concept of networking because it forces them to have relationships.  To get that next job, they should be in an accountability group and meet people several times a day.  Tell that to an engineer who was quite happy going to his cubicle each day and solving equations.

We have good examples of accountability in the military.  No soldier acts on his own.  Each is accountable to their superior.  Sports teams require teamwork.  To operate as an individual on the court or the field leads to loss and failure.  As I’m writing this, it’s January with the football season just about over and several teams have announced that they have hired new head coaches.  Admittedly, the accountability they experience is extreme and quite stressful.  Win or else.

But the point is well-taken that there are consequences in an accountable relationship.  If I mess up, those close to me will take me to task.  If the Proverb is true “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”, then there are also rewards.  King David in the Old Testament of the Bible must have felt that he was above reproach when he invited(commanded) a woman named Bathsheba into his bedroom.  He had no scruples against adultery, conspiracy or murder.  He was king.  Who would dare challenge him?  Fortunately for him and even for us, the prophet Nathan did it.  “You are the man!”  

As a result, David repented and he is even called the ‘apple of God’s eye’.  But we must not forget that there were still consequences.  You’ll have to read 2 Samuel and following to get the whole story.  

On June second of last year, Armando Galarraga, a pitcher for the Detroit Tigers, was one out from pitching a perfect game; something that is rare in major league baseball. However on the last out, the first base umpire Jim Joyce ruled the runner safe, putting an end to Galarraga's quest for a perfect game. Joyce believed he made the right call until he saw the replay for himself after the game; the replays showed the runner was clearly out and that Galarraga should have gotten credit for a perfect game. Joyce, the umpire, immediately went to the 28-year-old pitcher from Venezuela after the game and apologized for getting the call wrong.

Holy cow, backup, rewind… let me say that again. The umpire, Joyce, went and apologized for getting the call wrong. That is accountability in all of its purest glory folks!  And then Galarraga turned around and forgave him for blowing a call that cost him something he may never ever do in his career again; throw a perfect game. "He probably feels more bad than me," Galarraga said. "Nobody's perfect. Everybody's human. I understand. I give the guy a lot of credit for saying, 'I need to talk to you.' You don't see an umpire tell you that after a game. I gave him a hug.”

Wow! I love it when people take accountability seriously. And I love it when people forgive. Whether it is my kids, friends, umpires or leaders, I love watching people do the right thing because it is the right thing. Taking accountability for one's actions builds huge trust dividends. Do you think feelings of trust and respect for Joyce have improved across Major League Baseball? Absolutely! It's interesting how when we try not to cover up our pride we become people of character that others genuinely love and respect.

Thank you to both Jim Joyce, an accountable umpire and Armando Galarraga, a forgiving professional athlete. You have taught us and left a legacy as leaders that is worth way more than nine innings of perfect baseball.*

With all this in mind, what can I do today?  

Action Point:  Choose two men(a group of 3 may be more comfortable) with whom you are comfortable.  Set the tone.  Tell them what you want to do.  Agree to meet once a week for 6 weeks asking for each other’s help.  

*From teamworkandleadership.com. A story by Michael G. Rogers