Your impact on others

Your Impact On Others

How do people feel after they’ve been with you?  Honestly, what impact do you have on others?  Are they encouraged?  Do they feel depressed?  Are you even aware that your attitudes and behaviors affect everyone with whom you come in contact?  If you are sad and withdrawn, then you may pass that on.  If you’re smiling and energetic others might begin to feel influenced even if they didn’t start out that way and unknowingly, you have changed their mood.  Or is it possible that you don’t even think about the influence you have on people because you are too busy talking and sharing your problems?  Is it possible that your idea of a conversation is a verbal ping pong match?  I talk...ping...you talk...pong...resulting not in a conversation but in a game of verbage one upmanship.  

I believe that many people go through life not really understanding the influence that they daily exercise.  I realized in college that if I didn’t reach out to others, then I knew I would be alone.  It was a conscious choice to get outside of myself and be curious about the people around me.  Also, a recognition that most of us are self-absorbed in rather unintentional ways, but self-absorbed all the same.  Reaching out, caring, and listening take a great deal of work and thought.  

I’m beginning to believe that our dependence on technology is making things worse.  We depend on emails and texts to communicate rather than having face-to-face encounters.  We are losing the ability to start conversation and certainly to sustain it.  Here is a direct quote from an uh...‘unnamed’ social media program: “Each Tweet is 140 characters long, but don’t let the small size fool you—you can discover a lot in a little space.”   Oops that second word gave it away didn’t it?

That sort of reminds me of the phrase that was popular in the 70’s and 80’s as Mom’s were going back to work, Dad’s were working longer hours and the term latch-key kid developed:  ‘Quality Time’.  Ah yes, if we can’t spend quantity time together like at the dinner table or playing together on weekends, then let’s have the few minutes we have together be ‘quality.’  I wonder if anyone ever really defined what that meant anyway.  I think back to the time Tracy and I spent with our kids and I remember the backpacking trips where we hiked into the wilderness, set up camp and did nothing productive except eat, hike, swim and sleep.  That quantity time was precious.  Quantity grows into quality.

So, back to the question: “How do people feel after they’ve been with you?”  I read this or heard this somewhere and it greatly affected me.  I literally have the power to make someone’s day good or bad.  I can choose to dwell on my circumstances which might be very dire in the moment or I can put them into perspective knowing that I have a loving Creator who has my best interests in mind and honestly project a positive and caring attitude.  The apostle Paul tells us in Colossians 4:6 “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

I dated...okay I tried to date this girl in college who would only agree to have lunch with me.  She was stunningly beautiful.  I would have been happy just to sit and stare at her, but I knew that wouldn’t do, so the morning before lunch, I would jot down some notes with questions I would ask her and other things to talk about.  Why?  Because she just sat there never thinking to ask me a thing.    It didn’t last long.  It took far too much energy.  And..uh...she had a boyfriend she wasn’t willing to ditch.

Anyway...I hope she felt better about herself after she was with me.  That’s the point isn’t it? Do people feel better about themselves after they’ve been with me?  Wow!!  What a concept.  Consider that as you go forth into the world today.  Think of the lives you could affect.