Daddy but...

Daddy but....

As my children were growing up, they often required discipline.  No surprise.  But discipline/punishment is never pleasant nor desired.  Hebrews 12:11 affirms this,  “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  And of course, they always had objections.  It’s an old joke but bears repeating....I’m in the midst of scolding my children  and they cry out “Daddy but....”and I get even angrier(not really) and say, “Don’t you dare call me daddybut again or I’ll make your punishment worse.”  A bit of levity made the discipline a bit easier...for me anyway.  

In the past several months I have said to God as I have been looked over, ignored or passed up for this job or that... “Lord, but this doesn’t make any sense.  You see God, you don’t understand.  I was perfect for that job.  If I don’t get this job then I don’t know what I’ll do.”  Many days I felt that I could not go another moment in my current job.  I recognize my shortsightedness, but often fear takes over and causes me to have irrational thoughts.  Irrational, that is, for the follower of Jesus Christ.  The believer, more than anyone, ought to be able to face each day with courage and hope because we know that God has our back.  We have the Scriptures which supply us with endless passages of the trials of men and women and how God met each of them in their moments of desperation.  And the help He gave them often wasn't what they expected.  And for that we should be grateful.  Why?  Because we have a sovereign, good God who knows better than we do what we need and what will glorify Him.  Easily said, but even with that knowledge, I still struggle.

While searching for a permanent pastoral position, I have chosen to start a handyman business in order to pay the bills.  It seemed to make sense at the time.  Immediately, I began to get calls and I praised God for confirming my decision.  After about 2 weeks, things slowed down.  So much so, that I went almost a week with nothing.  “God, where are you now?”  “Daddy but....”  Another day would go by and then the bills were due.  “Lord, what now?”    Then a call would come and another.  And I would praise God.  Of course, there is a pattern here that has repeated itself throughout my life.  Complain/praise God/complain/praise God....etc.  

Maybe I’m supposed to learn more than just to treat God like the cosmic parent who’s supposed to meet my every need.  Maybe there’s more to faith than getting what I need in the nick of time.  It reminds me of this thing that James talks about called perseverance and it bothers me.  James 1:2-4  says,

       "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

       because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 

       Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,

       not lacking anything." 

It gives me the impression that I am a work-in-progress and that I’m not mature and that more trials are coming.  I remember in my twenties dealing with singleness and other issues and I grasped a hint of what this meant and I prayed, “Okay Lord, I understand I must face trials, but can I have some new ones.”  He answered my prayer.  

So, today I have work and actually, I have work for probably 6 weeks or more.  Does that increase my faith?  Sure! But maybe God is trying to teach me that faith is more than getting what I need NOW.  I think God is trying to tell me that HE is sufficient for me regardless of the circumstances.  And what I have today is enough, for tomorrow will take care of itself.  

I am still hoping and sometimes pining away for a different future than the one I can see now, but every once in awhile I get a glimmer of the reality that HE wants to impress upon me.  Live for today.  Be a blessing to everyone you meet.  Stop looking for your needs to be met and meet someone else’s.  Be God’s hands and feet.  Be God's.