At my wits end

                                                               At My Wits End

I can hear my mother now, “I’m at my wits end with you!”  She is so exasperated that one more stupid move on my part and that will be it.  But what does that mean?  I have friends who have spouses with cancer.  Friends who are in difficult marriages.  I know there are people who are suffering from a physical illness or have children that are driving them to the edge of sanity.  They are at their ‘wits end’ or are they? 

What I mean is that I’m wondering if we humans are more remarkable than we give ourselves credit for.  The WWII generation was known for their resilience and their ability to handle life’s difficulties.  Husbands were gone for years with little or no communication.  Children were raised wondering if they would ever see their fathers again.  Recycling was a necessary habit, penny pinching had a meaning of which we know nothing about.  ‘Doing without’ meant not finding particular foods at the grocery store or depending on the kindness of neighbors for home repairs or the next meal.  Not, buying the regular coffee instead of the Very Berry Hibiscus Starbucks refresher.

The phrase originated in the Bible of all places.  In Psalms 107:27 (King James Version) it says, “They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits' end.”  The context being sailors on a ship that was in such a state of naval distress that hope seemed lost.  That pretty much described my mother when she had all four of us lined up in the hallway outside of the bathroom trying to figure out who punctured the gallon bottle of ammonia.  In desperation she offered clemency to the guilty if they would only confess.  Seeing a way out, I admitted that I yielded to the temptation that the safety pin next to the bottle beckoned me with a strange power of alluring experimentation....i.e. “I wonder what will happen when I...”  Give me a break, I was probably 4 or 5 years old.  Anyway, my dear mother lied...I got punished with the nearest form of corporal punishment...the hairbrush.

Since wit is often associated with a sense of humor or ingenuity, ‘at my wits end’ may mean losing your sense of humor or ability to think creatively.  That’s a serious dilemma and more of a cause of concern than we realize.  Losing these faculties causes us to have a flat affect...a psychological term that describes one on the border of depression or experiencing a prolonged period of sadness.  Not only is the sense of humor blunted, but the reaction to just about anything is reduced to an apparently uncaring or unemotional response. 

I have found that when one is at one’s wits end, it is dangerous to be alone.  Admittedly, I tend to withdraw in times of emotional distress, but my own experience has shown that Christian community is needed at this time as much as any other.  

As a final encouragement my mind is drawn to Hebrews 12:1-3 which says,
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

My dear mother mellowed over the years.  As Bill Cosby tells his children about their grandparents, he says, “These are not the same people.”  We do change.  What caused us to be at our wits end today will not in a year because God can use the most drastic circumstances to guide and strengthen us.  Consider what Peter says in 1 Peter 5:6, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 

As Red Green ends his portion of Handyman Corner, “I’m pullin’ for ya, we’re all in this together.”


Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
                                                                                                                                2 Corinthians 1:3-5