Epiphany

Epiphany

Years ago, I took some personality inventories that applied certain personality traits to me.  Supposedly, knowing these traits would help me to know myself and others better.  Admittedly, they explained a lot, but I’m not sure how helpful they were.  I’ve also discovered that people use these descriptors or labels as an excuse.  For instance, if I discover that I am an introvert then I can use that as an excuse and avoid interacting with people.  I think the weakness of these tests is that it places limits on us that we often believe are insurmountable.

For years I argued with God about my calling to ministry.  “God, I’m a task-oriented person...I don’t do my best in relationships.  I took a test that said I was an introvert.  God, can you call someone else.”    But being the obedient son that I am, I entered the ministry.  I excelled in administration and programs, and sure enough, my people skills were limited.  “See God...I told ya.”  The call didn’t go away.

In my first job as a youth minister, I really didn’t know what to do, so I built bookshelves and fixed the basketball hoops.  Eventually, I put my learned Young Life skills to use and hung out at the schools.  I learned to love the people that God had called me to, and God was patient with me as I learned one lesson at a time.  In the beginning, it was a lot easier to plan a program and invite people to come and enjoy what I had put together.  Not necessarily the most effective but easier.  

I loved service camps like The Pittsburgh Project where I could really be useful and build a porch or a handicap ramp.  Oh yeah, I led a team of teenagers and adults who I instructed, but I’m afraid I wasn’t very patient.  I just wanted to get the project finished and finished well.  After years in the ministry, I often longed for that day off where I could just go home and tinker, fix stuff or work in the yard.  People work is hard....I renewed my energy by being alone and working with my hands.

Now that I am ‘temporarily’ working as a handyman, I’ve noticed some strange things.  

1. I don’t enjoy the work as much as I thought...because I have to do it to earn a living.
2. I still have a hard time including people in my work. In my current project, the homeowners are out of the country....YES!
3. The handyman work actually stresses me out.  I think about it at night.  I watch “Howto” Youtube  videos to make sure I’m doing things correctly.
4. Ministry never stressed me out this way.  

It was in the midst of these realizations that the epiphany struck.  When I’m doing a task, I just want to get it done uninterrupted and I have difficulty leaving it to go home at night knowing that it’s not finished.  Conversely, when I’m with people, as in ministry, I am relaxed.  I can’t fix them.  They will never be finished.  And I’m not responsible for how they turn out.  I am free to hand them over to God and let Him handle the consequences.  It’s not that I don’t care, but it’s the nature of the job.  Those who are people-oriented tend to carry other’s burdens like I carry my tasks.  

So, here’s my conclusion:  As a task-oriented person I am possibly better fit for ministry    than I first realized because I know when to call it quits.  Since the job is never done, I’m able to draw a line in the sand and say, “I can go this far and no further.”  Those of you that have taken the test and discovered that you are people-oriented, you can help people like me and let me know when the task needs to be set aside, but listen to me when I tell you to let go of a particular relationship.  The ultimate end of performing a task is for people anyway, so we’re accomplishing the same thing, just by different means.

As you can see, some balance needs to be maintained and we need to help each other.    Over the years, I have learned people-skills and enjoy using them in the ministry.  I look forward to the day when I can be a full-time minister again and do my handyman stuff on the side.  I’m discovering that this is the way God made me.