Marriage Part 1

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam… … 

Marriage Part 1

Ephesians 5:25-29

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 

In just one day I belittled or demeaned my wife three times.  In other words, I spoke down to her and made her feel less than the woman that she is.  I fell victim to the lie that if I made my wife feel stupid then I would look really smart.  Sounds kind of dumb doesn’t it but for some reason I keep trying different variations on it and the result is always the same.  

Marriage is an institution created by God whereby a man and a woman seek to become the image of God together.  I realize that none of us are perfect and we all have our idiosyncrasies but shouldn’t one who knows the truth aim for a higher standard than the rest of the world?  What I mean by the truth is that I have God’s Word at my disposal.  I know the high value God places on people and I understand that to love another person is to seek to....well....look at the words above.... “to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

So, here’s the kicker...if we belittle or demean our spouse, we essentially do it to ourselves.  Anger and abuse of all kinds are attempts to gain power over another individual, but in marriage when we are abusive to our spouses we not only hurt them, but we in reality hurt ourselves.  So, we have not gained anything except contempt.  This realization may not come to everyone at first, but it does not change the fact that it’s true.  For me, I feel it as the words are leaving my mouth....and I can’t stop it.  It’s as if the tongue has a mind all it’s own.  

James 3:6 says, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

Strong words, but if you’ve been on the receiving end, you know this is true.  What hope is there for us.  I agree with Paul in Romans 7:18, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

This doesn’t excuse my actions it merely tells me that I have company.  And until the truth sinks home and causes us to fall on our knees in repentance, our marriages will not thrive...as a matter of fact...they won’t really look like marriage at all according to biblical standards.(I will write on this next time)

So, again I agree with Paul when he says in  Romans 7:24,25, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” 

There is hope but it requires repentance, reconciliation and restoration.  None of which can happen apart from the conviction of the Holy Spirit.  

Less than 24 hours later, after my self-righteous scales fell off my eyes and I saw what an idiot I was. I apologized.  Oh what a glorious Savior we have...and I have a pretty good wife too.